That Which I Could Say

Yesterday was the kiddo's last day of Kindergarten. It's been a long year due to a variety of personal difficulties that arose in 2026. But we made it.

Soon, I officially sign off as the PTA's Communication VP. Yesterday, I ended my inadvertent role as "Room Parent" with the end of school. I say "inadvertent" because there wasn't a designated role and given that I was already in charge of Comms, I took the role of communicating (or rather, reiterating everything the teacher/school said) to the parents. As someone hoping to enter Education, here's some things I wish I could have said to every Kindergarten parent -- including those not in our class. Although I found myself telling some of them, not all heard what I have to say. And let's be real, often, they don't want to hear it anyway. So I share it here, knowing that I could be wrong about some things, knowing that parenting differs across all families. But still, it's worth writing down for someone. (I just don't know who).

1. Meet your child where they are at. Your child is their own individual being. They are becoming someone in this world. You may have a lot of hopes and dreams for them, but remember, they are still forming who they are. Don't get mixed up with what you can offer them to flourish versus what you are making them do. Honor who they are and who they are becoming because they aren't you.

2. Academics means a lot; but at young ages, trust that they will eventually learn everything they do need to learn so long as you are providing them the resources. They will do it; they can do it. However don't forget to meet their socio-emotional needs too. They need to learn resilience, failure, and boredom. At some point academics will be hard, and they won't always get it. Maybe they need to try harder or it's just not for them. Everyone is good at something, focus on those areas, and teach them to push through the hard things. It's not about learning to master it; it's about learning to have the courage to keep going.

3. Metrics aren't everything. They are young and for a few years, they will be reminded nonstop that metrics are everything and possibly grades. Then they get to adulthood and... Well, were you working on all the skills mentioned before?

4. Follow their passions and find ways to incorporate the things they aren't so good at. Find ways of adding it in. They like to cook? Then you have the opportunity to teach them fractions, addition, and subtraction with measuring cups. Your teaching them a real life skill, bonding, and still meeting them where they are at.

5. Let them run and play. Let them work on their social skills with one another.

6. Let them watch a movie at the theater. Yeah, they may only care about popcorn but there's merit in having them sit still for over an hour, focus on a show, and learn to be around others.

7. Read to them at any age. It doesn't have to be on their level either. Encourage a love of reading so they can explore concepts, situations, and use their imagination to build worlds. Read them a picture book -- so what if they are too old for it. Important messages are in those books. Put on an audiobook and listen together if you prefer. Do not get caught up in "them having to read to you" or "that book seems too young for you." There is a marked difference between reading books lower than your level once in a while or as a bonding event and it being the only thing one reads (unless that's your expertise).

8. You know that burn-out you might be feeling? Yeah, don't do that to your kid. Give them the down time to relax and wind down.

9. Letting them be bored can be pressure on you. I know. It's hard work dealing with a bored kid. But it's also hard work on them too especially if they just lost a routine or are going through a big change. Look at this way, when kids move a level at school, it's like they got a big promotion at work. They have the chance to relax and unwind,* but it's still a big change. It's hard work unpacking all of that for them and it's hard work as a parent to deal with them going through it. But let them work out. You are there to guide, not to dictate the path for them.

10. In returning to my asterisk in #9, stop overscheduling them. Are you doing it for you or them? If you're doing it for you, I get it. If you're doing it because you have to, I get it. But meet them in the middle. They don't need to be in all the programs or classes if they don't actually need it. Is it supporting them? Or are you just doing it to be an overachiever, in which case, is it actually you or them? Do they actually like it? Are you seeing who they are and supporting it?

11. Screens are not an immediate enemy. Yes, they can be if they are overutilized. But keep in mind that your kid is in a class for ~5 hours a day, 5 days a week, for several months. They are going through a variety of subjects. Screens can be helpful in managing those subjects, topics, and help provide a relief. They are not watching screens for the entire time. (If they are, please flag it because that would be considered a problem). But using a screen for the total of less than an hour a day, spread across the entirety of the day? Stop. Getting to watch the Magic School Bus on a rainy day lunch? Magical. Yes, it can be worrisome if it's used as a crutch and takes over their entire education. But it usually isn't. Think about the full day they are having and then the full week.

Finally, I was a reader for Project Cornerstone this year. In our last reading, this was provided to us and I thought it was wonderful and asked that it get sent home to all the families. When You Thought I Wasn't Looking. Be the person you want your kids to be. You can't make them be you but you can show them.

Please note, I did my training in Early Childhood Education so my knowledge is situated in that area. This post is intended for those with younger kids, probably Kindergarten and younger. I also understand some people just don't have the time or the means to do this stuff. Do what's best for you and your family. These are all my opinions.